Redefining Birth Success: Is 'Healthy Mom and Baby' All That Matters?
In today’s birth culture, there’s a phrase that gets thrown around a lot: “All that matters is a healthy mom and baby.” While, of course, the health and safety of both mother and baby are paramount, this phrase oversimplifies the birth experience. Birth is not just about physical outcomes—it's about the emotional, mental, and spiritual journey that brings a new life into the world. How you feel during your birth, the trust you place in your body, and the ability to make informed, autonomous decisions are all crucial elements that contribute to a truly empowering birth. It's important to note that up to 45% of people report experiencing birth trauma, which underscores the need for more than just a focus on physical health. In this post, we’ll dive into why the common mantra of “healthy mom, healthy baby” isn’t the whole story, and how you can advocate for a birth experience that honors not just your physical health, but your whole self.
The Power Dynamics in Birth
When you walk into a prenatal appointment, it’s easy to feel like you’re just a patient, there to follow the directives of your doctor. But let’s flip that script: you are not just a patient—you are the most important person in that room, the one bringing new life into the world. In this context, it’s crucial to understand that your relationship with your healthcare provider should be a partnership. You are the one hiring them to support you through this journey, and you have every right to choose who that person is, just as you would hire any other professional for an important job. If your OB or midwife doesn’t respect your wishes or align with your birth philosophy, you have the power to fire them and find someone who does. This shift in perspective—from seeing yourself as a patient to seeing yourself as the boss—can be incredibly empowering and transformative, making a huge difference in how you navigate your pregnancy and birth. If you’re unsure about whether you’re with the right provider, check out my e-book, The Essential Guide to Choosing a Supportive Birth Provider, a resource that can help you confidently make decisions that feel right for you and your baby!
The Importance of Language
Language has power. The words we use to describe ourselves, especially in a medical context, shape our perceptions and experiences. When we refer to ourselves as “patients,” we might unconsciously adopt the mindset of someone who is unwell, in need of fixing, or in a passive role. But pregnancy is not an illness; it’s a natural, healthy state, and birth is a normal physiological process. Referring to yourself as a “birthing person” or “client” instead of a “patient” can be a subtle yet powerful way to remind yourself and others that you are not sick—you are strong, capable, and in charge of your birth. Unfortunately, the medical system has often portrayed birth as a dangerous, high-risk event that needs to be heavily managed and controlled. This narrative has been driven, in part, by the revenue that hospitals generate from childbirth, making it the top money-maker even in a system dealing with chronic illnesses like diabetes and heart disease. Shifting the language we use is a small but significant step toward reclaiming birth as the healthy, natural process it is for most people, and it reinforces the idea that you can and should trust your body.
Navigating Fear and Trust
The cultural fear of birth is real, and it’s pervasive. Many of us are conditioned to think of birth as a terrifying, dangerous process that we just need to survive. But what if we approached birth differently? What if, instead of fearing it, we learned to trust in our bodies and the natural process of bringing life into the world? Education is key here. By educating yourself about the birth process, your options, and your rights, you can begin to dispel the fears that have been ingrained in you. It’s crucial to understand that birth is a normal, healthy event for most people, and the more you know about how your body works during labor and delivery, the more you can trust it to do what it was designed to do. Trust is the cornerstone of an empowering birth experience. It’s not just about trusting your body, but also trusting your provider, your support team, and most importantly, yourself. When you can trust in the process, you’re less likely to feel the need for unnecessary interventions and more likely to have a birth that feels right to you, whether that’s in a hospital, at a birth center, or at home.
The Impact of Provider Perception
The way your provider perceives your pregnancy and birth can greatly influence your experience. For example, if your OB believes your baby might be “too big,” they may push for a C-section or early induction, even if there’s no strong medical evidence to support that decision. This bias can lead to a cascade of unnecessary interventions that not only disrupt the natural birth process but also diminish your autonomy. It’s vital to remember that you have the right to question your provider’s recommendations, seek a second opinion, or even switch providers if you feel that their perception of your birth is not in line with your own. Your provider should be there to support your birth preferences and help you feel safe and empowered, not to impose their fears or biases on your experience. This is why having doula support in Denver (or wherever you are) can be invaluable—doulas are trained to advocate for your wishes and help you navigate the complex dynamics of the birthing environment.
The Role of Education
Education is one of the most powerful tools you can have in your birth toolkit. Understanding the physiology of birth, the benefits and risks of interventions, and your rights as a birthing person can significantly reduce your chances of experiencing birth trauma. With up to 45% of people reporting birth trauma, it’s clear that we need to focus on more than just physical health during the birthing process. Knowledge allows you to make informed decisions that align with your values and preferences, rather than feeling pressured into choices that don’t feel right for you. But education isn’t just about knowing the facts—it’s also about building confidence in your ability to give birth. When you know what to expect and what your options are, you’re more likely to feel in control of your birth experience. This sense of empowerment can be the difference between a birth that feels traumatic and one that feels transformative. My childbirth education classes are designed to provide you with the comprehensive, evidence-based information you need to make the best decisions for you and your baby. I invite you to explore how education can be a game-changer in your birth journey and help you avoid unnecessary interventions and trauma.
Birth is more than just a means to an end—it’s a profound and transformative experience that deserves to be respected and honored. While a healthy mom and baby are, of course, the most important outcomes, how you get there matters too. You deserve to feel empowered, respected, and in control throughout your birth. If at any point during your pregnancy you feel that your provider isn’t supporting your vision for birth, remember that you have the right to make a change. Don’t be afraid to switch providers if that’s what you need to feel safe and supported. Your birth experience should be one that you look back on with pride and satisfaction, knowing that you made informed choices that were right for you. If you’re in Denver and seeking doula support, childbirth education, or just someone to talk through your options, I’m here for you! Let’s work together to create a birth plan that feels right for you and ensure that your birth is an empowering experience that you’ll cherish for a lifetime. If you’re interested in chatting about what it would look like to work together, send me a message here.
